A Chronicle of my Changing Times.

Good news of the day is that I got my dental clearance from Peace Corps today.  Only one more hurdle to go through and I'll be in the "nomination" stage where they actually tell me where I'm going and what I'll be doing.  Now if the doctor types would finish up reviewing my medical records...  They've already had it 10 days...

 

Posted by: mjmarble at September 30, 2004 20:59 | link | comments

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted.  I'd be surprised if anyone was still out there reading.  Well, this was meant to be a personal journal for the most part anyways...

I did finally get my medical info off to PC.  And already had the dental forms returned becuase I forgot a signiture from the dentist in one area.  So, that's now been taken care of and hopefully I'll hear back with an assignment sometime in the next 4 weeks.  Well, at least that's what I hope for.  I did a rough estimation of the time I have left and it looks to be about 22 weeks (155 days) or so.  Not that I'm the type to seriously count down or anything... ;)

Went to NYC for the TARcon finale, which was fun.  I had a great time, drank too much and basically realized that I'm suddenly turning old.  I didn't bounce back the way I use to.  I also had a bit of time to myself (since I missed my flight last Thursday and had an extra 6 hrs to kill in Manhatten) to think about the state of affairs in my life.  I realized I'm not happy at all with all the weight I've gained over the last five years or so.  I'm honestly about 40 lbs over where I was then and I need to correct that immediately.  Within the next couple weeks my shift at work should be changing and I hope to begin working out in the evenings with a couple coworkers (the classes they go to in the gym start at 5:15 - I now get off work at 5:30).  This should fit fairly well with all my other activies in the evening, most of which start at 6:30-7:00.  Heck I might even still go to run at lunch.

I also decided to quit smoking.  I know everyone out there has heard it all before, but there's more incentive now.  First off, the working out thing.  Second I had a scare two weeks ago.  Long story short I had a random chest x-ray done (by my chiropractor - not really solicited) which came up with a spot on my lungs.  It turned out to be nothing - a small partially collapsed portion of my lung not at all related to my smoking (something natural which has already gone away), but I was terrified by the concept.  So quit smoking I must.  Yet I still do it....  Damn.  My deadline was Oct 1.  I'll keep working on that.

I also decided to stop worrying about women.  Basically, fuck it all.  Those of you who know me must be, "Yeah, whatever" but I'm sure about this decision.  I really just can't worry about it.  I'd wanted something casual over the last few weeks just to sort of while the time away, but the time I have is diminishing rapidly and I need to focus on other things now.  As it is, I often feel pulled in multiple directions and not focused on what I need be.

Which brings me to my next goal, to really focus on those things which matter most to me right now.  I've had a running spreadsheet saved with goals and important focuses for myself whilst I pushed to change my life.  Until a day or so ago, I hadn't even glanced at it in months.  That list is what I'm working on and for to set myself up in the long run.  I'd carefully considered everything on there, and quite honestly I did a damn good job of it.  Now I just need to center my actions around it again.  Wish me luck...  There's a lot on it.

I've also considered writing some poetry.  I've never really done so, but I have a desire to do so recently.  Of course there's also the ever present urge to do a mosaic. And I need to read more.  Plus bible studies, paper filings, GRE to study for, a Life To Do List that's been running through my head, Grad School info to work on, etc, etc, etc.

I'll write more soon.  I promise.  Until then, wish me luck with the working out, smoking, and budget.  Heck, even say a little pray for me if you would.

Posted by: mjmarble at September 29, 2004 22:56 | link | comments

In previous posts I'd mentioned I've been recruited to teach Sr High Sunday School. Overall it's been an enjoyable experience. It forces me to get up on Sundays just that much earlier, but otherwise I like working with the kids and getting to know them. They've had a bit of a raw deal of it as a group, being passed around hither and fro without a single teacher sticking with them over 12 months in years. Part of the problem is Church politics which seem to deem them 2nd class priority, part of it has to do with bad luck with people moving away. I'm just an overall part of that bad luck since I plan on leaving early in the winter of next year.

But the more immediate concern is trying to get what's left of a youth group back in some sort of working order. On one end of that, the new Pastor's wife, Jean Miller, has taken over the Youth director position. So that should bring some stability to the position. There was also a change in the head of the Youth board with new blood coming in; someone who'll be around for a while since her daughter is still in Jr. High. So the supporting framework, although all new, looks as if it'll be there for a while to build upon.

Enter me, teaching Sunday School. I've inherited a group a bit fragmented by lack of leadership and also 6-7 graduations of core members over the last two years. So basically I'm working on trying not only to teach these kids a bible study, but also to give them time together to form friendships. So each Sunday I only spend about half my "teaching" time actually going over a lesson and give the rest to them to socialize. I'm starting to see some signs of this working. It seems like every week there's one more teen joining the group. And rarely does someone not return. This week I had 7 kids, which is up from having just one at the end of July.

The reason I write about this tonight is that I'm concerned. I made a point over the past few weeks to be completely open and honest with the kids about everything. The bible studies I'm doing are very specific on the issues facing kids today - drugs, sex, alcohol, non-believing friends (and what to do about them), violence, cheating, problems with parents, etc. I want them to feel comfortable with me as a teacher/quasi-adult and to trust me. I also tend to put on my best jokester act (surprisingly easy amougst teenagers) to make them feel at ease too. I'm just worried, without going into too many details, that I went to far with sharing about my personal life today. I'm trying to do the right thing, but I'm just afraid of doing something wrong. If that makes any type of sense...

I guess I'll just say a little prayer about it.

Posted by: mjmarble at September 05, 2004 23:18 | link | comments (1)